Timezones are a serious hurdle for the Euro NHL fan. Ever wondered what an average game night looks like for us over here? Well, here’s your answer: This is how I experienced Tuesday’s Panthers – Flyers game. Warning: Contains profanities and very random thoughts and might be very long.
11:52 am: Play some NHL 14. Lose game in GM Connected league 2-3 even though outshooting the other guy 26-13. Great start. Proceed to play 2-on-2 games with people involved in said league
1:13 am: Hit parade. 2-on-2 game ends with 50-53 hits. Hurry to start GameCenter on Xbox.
1:14 am: GCL needs to update. Miss puck drop (also because of playing NHL 14 a little too long).
1:15 am: Game is finally on. First thing heard from Jim Jackson: “The Flyers are on their heels.” Start to feel nervous. Not again.
1:18 am: Yes! Brayden Schenn scores off of weird bounce off the boards. Fist pump, laugh at Tim Thomas for being terribly out of position.
1:22 am: Yeah baby! Braydon Coburn makes it 2-0. Laugh even louder at Thomas this time. Getting yanked not even halfway through the first certainly is an accomplishment.
1:25 am: What the fuck, stripes? That huge Rinaldo hit on Shore can’t possibly have been holding! Utter disbelief. First commercial break of the period. Brush teeth to prevent self from stuffing face with junk food in case of Flyers breakdown.
1:27 am: See hit replay. Timonen for holding, not Rinaldo. Some faith in refs restored. Still pissed because of unnecessary penalty.
1:30 am: Mid-way through the first. Penalty killed, looking good so far. Second commercial break.
1:34 am: Grossmann misses net. Hit the net, dude!
1:36 am: Damn, is Markström really wearing #25 on his jersey?
1:37 am: Yep, he is. Weird # for a goalie. Third commercial break.
1:39 am: Man, someone punch those two goofballs behind Steve Coates between the benches in the face.
1:40 am: Versteeg hits crossbar. Heart skips a beat.
1:43 am: Trying to cope with the filthyness of Voracek’s pass to Brayden Schenn. Fail to do so, yell at TV how awesome that play was. No goal.
1:45 am: Notice I only know most of the Panther’s roster because of 2BC’s GM Mode commentaries by Johnny Superbman on Youtube. Be amazed, Stone Cold Steve Mason with two huge saves. Be wide awake, end of first period.
1:46 am: Check for game reactions online since GameCenter never shows intermission report.
2:05 am: Game resumes. Notice that I wrote down way too many things during first.
2:09 am: First yawn of the game. Pretend to self not to get tired. Lol at Kulikov for throwing the remains of his broken stick and getting a minor for it.
2:11 am: Timonen turns puck over. Mason saves resulting breakaway. Fist pump.
2:15 am: Second commercial break of the period. Notice I missed the first. Yep, it’s getting late.
2:17 am: Did I hear that correctly? Hal Gill is playing? Am I hallucinating already?
2:22 am: Third break. Still looking good.
2:24 am: Still feel legs from four-hour skating session the day before. Lie in bed. Aw yiss, much more comfortable.
2:26 am: Skate save Mason while sitting down. Make mental notice to play Stone Cold theme after game.
2:28 am: Hey guys! Some offense would be nice again, thankyouverymuch!
2:29 am: Back on the PK. Thanks, Meszaros.
2:31 am: Kopecky wrestling Timonen to the ground. Yell at TV what an asshole he is.
2:32 am: Yeah, power play! Fourth commercial break of the period.
2:36 am: Read just misses, PP over. Damn.
2:38 am: Fuck. Boyes makes it a one-goal game. Come on, only six seconds remaining? Unlucky. Second period ends. Get up, check for game reactions again.
2:57 am: Game resumes.
3:01 am: Looks like I was hallucinating earlier. Hal Gill remains nowhere to be seen. Good.
3:03 am: Rosehill to the box. Scrum. Rinaldo to box. No Florida penalty. Commence yelling at TV.
3:04 am: Nevermind. Kopecky also gets the gate. The fuck, double minor plus 10 minute misconduct for Rosehill? 4 minute PK? Bullshit!
3:05 am: Why is Rosehill even still on the team? Useless!
3:07 am: Talbot shorthanded breakaway. Hall tackled, no penalty. Crowd chants asshole. Silently agree. Refrain from yelling because neighbors might call cops.
3:10 am: Another chance Talbot. Notice he’s wearing a visor. Holy shit! When did he start to do that?
3:11 am: PK successful. That’s huge.
3:13 am: Feeling really tired. Please don’t go to OT.
3:14 am: Really, first commercial break of the period? Must’ve missed something.
3:15 am: Mason saves with blade of his skate. STONE COLD STEVE MASON! Wide awake again.
3:17 am: WE NEED SOME GOD DAMN OFFENSE!
3:18 am: Whoever just killed Hartnell, you better run! Yell at TV really loud. Fuck the neighbors. Second break.
3:20 am: Hartnell out on the PP. Good. Gudbranson gets major and a game for attempted murder. Justice for all!
3:30 am: Big Simmonds hit in the corner. Hell yeah! Very much needed to stay awake.
3:33 am: Wait a minute, my regular 1:36 am connection loss didn’t happen tonight! Sweet.
3:34 am: High stick on Brayden Schenn. Another PP. Put this damn game away already!
3:35 am: Sugar House Lottery ad behind nets: “Philly loves a winner.” Heh.
3:36 am: One minute left, let’s go!
3:37 am: Bud Light Player of the Game: Stone Cold Steve Mason! Excellent. Imagine Flyers locker room party as beer bash. Chuckle. Hmm, Dollar Dog Night… I would eat so many dogs.
3:38 am: VIC-TO-RAY! Finally! Cue obligatory “The Orange & The Black” by the Boils. Reading stuff about the game online. Play Stone Cold theme. This nickname needs to happen.
3:53 am: Go to bed in a good mood for the first time since the season started. Ah, sweet, sweet victory!